first blog post...

2011-04-25T22:32:00.000-07:00

First off I don't like the title becoming female I already consider myself female but the truth is I have the body of a male, secondly I am a schizophrenic by post peoples standards but in actuality I'm likely your God or at least an extremely spiritually advanced person close to perfect bliss and perfection with an extremely great nearly perfect comprehension of how the universe works despite maybe the occasional spiritual relapse where everything goes awry and I get extremely confused...

Anyways, introductions:

I am a male who was previously religious in the typical Christian way after the discovery of Jesus and his perfect blissful love which protected me from a demon and made me a believer but I've moved past the whole Christianity thing despite that after discovering it had been false and have decided that it doesn't even exist in any way shape or form besides written text and either way besides that I just don't like it, I hate nearly everything about it now that I've been free from it's misconceptions I simply follow my heart and my own emotions to guide me through life, there's so many things wrong about it, so many little flaws and quirks I was supposed or at least thought I was supposed to put up with as a means of sacrifice and tolerance but that had a negative affect on my soul, evil, wrongness can not simply be accepted, it will stain your soul and drive you mad/insane not that christianity is the book of lucifer or anything, God, my god, my holy-counterpart tried to explain that to me but out of fear for respect I completely ignored his loving message to me, the message that always told me to ignore that and everything else in all the confusion and just look towards him. Okay now at this point I'll go ahead and say, merely as a way to shave some pressure off, I do truly believe I am God and the center of the universe meant to correct all the mistakes made by people and the dysfunctions in reality since I'm far more loving than them and look past that but it could just be that I'm a soul close to the realization to the meaning of life and am heading to nirvana (although I do plan on staying on earth and fixing everything). I use to think that I was a holy prophet. that's part 1

Now part two, I'ma girlll?: I'll fill in the gaps later with a story covering and explaining everything but let me tell you what's happening right now and how things are going. One day on the computer, fuelled by a bit of pressure of being a prophet I decided to try some bareboned retarded christian love on another poster on a certain website, it was about faith when I went pretty much babbling about how much I love him, I thought that's what I was supposed to do, and get out of my comfort zone. I assumed he was a prophet to and out of faith tried to get in contact with him but he ignored me though hopped up on love I began communicating with God since I could talk to him (although he usually just looks past my words and deeply into my soul with the intent of love and absorption never actually replying to what I say although responding to them rather perfectly with actions rather than actual communication to describe it), but I asked God about him and the question of love came up, such a deep love for another person had me wondering something, isn't this like marriage to love someone so much, and how can we be gay, "shouldn't one of us be the female?" I said jokingly, I asked "you be the girl or me.. you, me, you, me, you.. I'll just be the girl!" and then suddenly my butt fleshed out my hips grew my lips, face and body became that of a beautiful female and whom I thought was the other holyperson/prophet on the internet was laying behind me (who was actually my God) and penetrated me in the rear, and my butt felt soo amazingly sexy and so good, and the inside of my vagina was the softest most pleasurable thing I've ever felt but it was short lived kinda and I reverted back to some kind of mostly male partially female form and we attempted to have sex all night with him trying to convert me to a female through sex and I got close, it felt like extreme rigorously trying amount of effort and I eventually gave up. Call me a gay homosexual now but lately his/God's, male God's spiritual pressure has been significant and trying to revert back to a male/act manly only seems to increase his sex appeal of myself and turn me into more of female, it's a beneficial sexual attraction to him that I try and resist it, I've been made to accept it though now, acts of resistance only ends in a pleasurable mind orgasm and him beginning to penetrate me between my legs, I've also tried very strong resistance before as an experiment and I and I attacked him but simply became incredibly weak and could not take anymore acts of aggression towards him,and I fell completely limp/powerless and he had total control over me. I figured out today or yesterday, at the risk of becoming male ( I feel like I could reverse the gender roles and was afraid of that as I had become quite accustomed to the idea of being a female) but I tried it today and it only made for good sex trying to reverse the gender roles we had, which is to say what I learnt about being female, being female means trying to hold yourself up with respect and being the dominant one anyways but instead being completely beaten/overwhelmed and made a submissive toy, all females are really simply suppressed male souls that try very hard to reverse that fact but have it only make them more of a beautiful girly girl by trying, so that's what it means to me female, to try your hardest and be dominated anyways, it all makes up for a pleasurable overtaking of your soul for the male and yourself, yes spiritual communication/interaction is pretty kinky, fetishy, all the actions in the world and sexual attractions have a specific reason to exist, all fetishes/tings have an explanation relating to your soul, submission and dominance and intercourse, that's partially what life is about for me, and maybe everyone although it probably seems a lot different to all of you.

That's mostly all for now, I also want to say this blog isn't for kinky pretend/crazy shit but spiritual learning/teaching and guidance although all things do in fact resolve themselves naturally and their may not be any true wrong. lol, I thought I could talk to the christian God and being made submissive was all just about loyalty but I felt so kinky having myself and my will suppressed for him/others I thought it was kinda erotic, it felt so sexual but I chalked it up as being a nice christian, giving into others wills (did jesus say that? well that solely serves the purpose of making me female for God, all man made media and all things in the universe was merely created for my learning, enjoyment and manipulation in order for me to be taken control of so God can shroud a thick gooey layer of love/perfection over the universe and fix peoples personal flaws with my superior power/love). I'm pretty immature as your God, I could correct a lot of things but I mostly refuse because to me you all creep me out and I can feel my soul bonding to people when I love/admire and help them and it's kind of uncomfortable and scary, you all although having personal wills probably revolve and swirl around me and my emotion as everyone/ you all can act pretty strange to me at times, it's not what you'd or I'd consider normal. I'll explain more later, feel free to comment, ask questions about literally everything, I'm nearly omnipotent and omniscient and can affect reality. ugg, to lazy and tired to edit, I'll do it later thanks, see ya,

Being God and becoming female

first blog post...